Food is fud

Other than the sense of dread of knowing how you're ever going to make it to the next check (You usually do. Or worse case scenario your friends buy your beer.) is how terrible the state of affairs that is known as sustenance becomes.

One day you're dining on steak tartare, wining and dining women, driving fast cars and committing espionage (ok, really you're just on a bad date watching Quantum of Solace) and the next thing you know it's Taco Bell everyday. And you are very single.

Whatever your circumstances are you have now entered the dreaded state of "I AM HUNGRY AND ALL I HAVE IS CHEAP BEER."

Not that there was ever a problem with cheap beer, but breakfast with Colt45 is far more likely to toss you in the clink than help you get that promotion.

Now, the best case scenario is you have friends that will come over and everybody chips in for a delicious home-cooked meal. But how do you make it through the rest of the week, if you're even that lucky?

Time to go to the grocery store.

Forget having a healthy diet, just try to survive your meager means. In this case it might mean an Economy 100pk of ramen.

But if you have a sort of imagination, then actually this isn’t the WORST thing in the world. Or at least the most boring thing in the world. I was actually in the presence of someone who claimed that you can’t really do much with ramen. That kind of uninventive thought process is what’s flushing this country down the toilet (this is not what is flushing the country down the toilet.)

Sure if you cook ramen as is stated on the package, you’d probably kill yourself before the weekend. It only takes the merest of alterations to the... let’s just try to imagine that ramen isn’t the ultimate in design and function. That ramen can actually be... improved.. I know, I know. I’ll be here, while you try to catch your breath as your entire world view has been shattered.

To make up for this, here’s the world’s easiest alteration to regular package of ramen Noodles. 2nd, if you count simply not cooking the ramen at all and eating it dry with a light salting of the Flavor Packet^tm.

Boil Ramen.

Throw Flavor Packet^tm behind you into the trash can in some sort of sweet one shot basketball move.

Drain.

Pour in a can of Chilli into saucepan.

Add in the Ramen.

Behold.

For a mere $2 you have something more satisfying than a $6 meal at Taco Bell. You’ve not only fulfilled a sense of kitchen mastery, but you’ll be able to look yourself in the eye. Also the more you eat the more you toot.

So the next time someone says you can’t really do much with ramen, look them dead square in the eyes with a steely gaze and say “I can do at least this one thing.” Then, if party appropriate, Tiger Uppercut that bitch.